I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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