im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
