when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Randomize