I must be too annoying 4 u.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
