Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Randomize
