There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
