I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
