We won't sleep together?
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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