What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
