I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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