The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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