i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize