Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
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