She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize