real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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