She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
this beer tastes like vomit already
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
