Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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