I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
