I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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