She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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