My room smells like vodka and shame
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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