would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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