I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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