i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
