i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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