STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
