But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
