I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rumble strips road head = magical
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize