I think i sorta joined a cult last night
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
