If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
so let's talk penis.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
