I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize