But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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