So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize