New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
