Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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