That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
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