the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
