If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Randomize
