Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Randomize
