I'm jealous of your bromance
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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