i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
