There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
