Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
