and you said cock pushups were impossible
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
