R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize