When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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