I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
