lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
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