you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
