Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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