I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
