please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
