Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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