Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
