If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
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I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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