Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
This house was built for laser tag.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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