Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Randomize
