I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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