I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
