sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
