the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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