i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
