I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
