do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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