Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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